Hulk mad, Otter Tail County drivers bad
Watch out, I have my pedal to the metal and you are in the way, Otter Tail County drivers.
Because of the consistent excellence of athletic teams in New York Mills and Perham, at the end of every sporting season, I am on the road all over the area and I see you thoughtless drivers.
I drive fast, but I also try to be considerate.
You've seen that car behind you while you're eating up space crawling in the left lane. Move over.
That way you'll avoid the vehemence of the person you are currently frustrating and maybe even avoid an unpleasant gesture.
Not that I would do that.
Well, maybe one time.
While New York Mills was capturing the section baseball title in Fergus Falls, it allowed me a couple routes to the county seat, once from Perham and the other trip from Detroit Lakes.
It did not seem to matter if I was on highway 59, 108, 78 or 210, there they were: The Oblivious.
On my tunes-cranked blast down 59, I was clipping along at a decent pace and a rogue Buick pulled out in front of me.
"As long as they speed up in time, I'm not going to have to get angry," I thought. "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
Sure enough, in seconds, I'm green, puffed up and just Hulkish behind the wheel.
This happened 11 more times on the 45-mile trip - a personal record. By the time I reached the land of otters and geese, I had shed all remnants of my former Bruce Banner self.
Another irritant amidst this brake tapping madness was the multiple times I witnessed the suicide signal flippers.
Flipping on a turn signal as the turn is being made, with no thought whatsoever to the person or people behind, is enough to get one sincerely flipped off.
It just baffles me, as a driving species, we can't embrace the process of thought while we drive.
It's 'slam on the brakes or be killed' out there.
But do not fret; I am not saying Otter Tail County drivers are the worst.
Naturally, because we have state contenders here every season, my OTC trips are typically followed by a trip to the metro for state tournaments.
I'll spare you the details of my wrath on the roads down there.
Needless to say, I'm happy that I won't see southbound 169 for another year and to be honest, now that I have returned, I'm sticking to the back roads around here.