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Column: A taxing holiday season

There is nothing like a blizzard, some below zero temps and the calendar flipping to January to remind most of us that whole chipper, holiday spirit nonsense is for the birds and temporary, each year, at best.

At first, I thought it was the Republicans and Democrats who were the least happy.

Aside from Bernie Sanders' (I-VT) epic work-shift-like rant before the holidays on the floor of the Senate, listening to any member of these two parties is like being stuck between your mother-in-law and her bitter sister at the holiday dinner table when the wine is running low.

I got lucky there too, this year. My little nephew sat next to me and made faces and giggles from the pre-meal prayer, to skipping his holiday dinner and waiting for dessert. Add a dash of kick Uncle Bob in the shins a couple times and there is a happy, holiday, family moment.

Regardless, I find it much better here in January. You want to see a grouchy Grinch, just dial me up around the 23rd of December. I can't stand the holidays. I pray for them to be over each year, anything to get to the 26th.

No lie, I look forward to tax season more than the fortnight of Christmas-Kwanza-Hanukkah.

Soon, I will be allowed to file my taxes causing the government to return to me what was mine and should not have been pilfered from my paycheck in the first place.

If I think about that whole deal, I can get pretty riled up. Not Bernie Sanders annoyed or John Boehner (R-OH) insane or Harry Reid (D-Nev) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) apoplectic, but nutty, nonetheless.

Taxes, the holidays, in-laws, it's enough to drive any standard issue American crazy.

However, we all know; no matter how insane we might feel on any given day, holiday or not, there is always someone just a bit more over the edge. This time, two Fargo neighbors have bested us with zoo-like behavior to solve a small, post-holiday spat.

Officers were called at 12:27 a.m., Tuesday, to the 3000 block of 10th Street North in Fargo for a report that a neighbor threw feces all over the caller's apartment door and laundry room.

Sgt. Jim VanLith said police have a suspect but couldn't locate him."

"I didn't go up there, but it sounded like a mess," he said.

I bet we missed an outrageous pun laden in the transcript of the arresting officer's report.

I would also wager somewhere in all this dookie is an invalid, sophomoric reason behind this argument we will never know about.

Or maybe, just maybe, this guy cracked under the weight of having to purchase gifts for people he is related to and knows far less than the nearest coworker, knows his entire tax return is going to a bill a collector who has been calling him, relentlessly, for two years and finally, he's just had it with his neighbor and that Barbara Streisand holiday album and with the changing of the calendar has made the following resolution.

This year, I'm going to get that neighbor once and for all.

Talk about a smear campaign.

Robert Williams

Sports Editor at the Detroit Lakes Tribune. Williams worked prior as the Sports Editor in Perham for the Focus, a Forum Communications newspaper, from 2010-14. 

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